thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”
There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her."No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”
And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”

There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”

And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

you-wish-you-had-this-url:

I LOVE LIGHT YAGAMI BECAUSE HE CONSTANTLY GET OFFENDED WHEN HES ACCUSED OF STUFF HE ACTUALLY DID

apricockjam:

visiters:

that “thirsty” dude hitting you up and checking up on you all the time is probably the dude that actually cares about you.

Oh shut the fuck up girls have no obligation to date guys just because they show basic kindness towards them, stop guilting girls into liking you back

pkmntrainermadoka:

when ur friend starts liking something u rly like

image

dfitzger:

By @galen1973: #followtheleader #thumpcycling #castellicycling #sworks @iamspecialized #cervelo #trekbicycles #gopro #colorado #cycling #cyclingpics #igerscycling #descending #dontforgettoenjoyyourride July 27, 2014 at 05:25PM http://ift.tt/1rVXGaH

dfitzger:

By @galen1973: #followtheleader #thumpcycling #castellicycling #sworks @iamspecialized #cervelo #trekbicycles #gopro #colorado #cycling #cyclingpics #igerscycling #descending #dontforgettoenjoyyourride July 27, 2014 at 05:25PM http://ift.tt/1rVXGaH

empressranaground:

therothwoman:

Pixar can never top this.

Can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that the best loved line from this movie comes from a character we never even got to see?

I hate when people say “women should leave some things to the imagination” like WTF do y’all think women are hiding under their shirt? A baby goat??? The Bridge to Terabithia?? Get the fuck…

tigerhazard:

missmurrka:

dragoncalibrator:

keetongu:

frillious:

hicupp:

peachdoxie:

Every time someone says “dragon” in How to Train Your Dragon

i cANT BREATHE IM LAUGHING SO HARD

if you listen closely to my deep, inner mind this is what you’ll hear

iT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY INTENSE DEBATE ABOUT DRAGONS HELP

I feel like this completes my blog

muh draggins

this audio file accurately describes the inside of my head at all times

horror movie opening scene

  • white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
  • white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
  • white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
  • white boy: lmao
  • they continue walking for a few seconds
  • *white couple hears noise*
  • white girl: babe what that??
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *leaves her alone*
  • *choking noises*
  • white girl: zack!!!
  • white boy: ha ha just kidding!
  • white girl: asshole!
  • white boy: im just playin babe
  • white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
  • *playful kiss*
  • *things turn sexy*
  • *hear noise*
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
  • *maybe a thud*
  • white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
  • *she walks and he dead*
  • white girl: ahhh!!
  • *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
  • white girl: ahhh!!!
  • *white girl runs*
  • *dead end*
  • *hides*
  • *thinks she free n safe*
  • *guy catches her*
  • *cuts her*
  • *she dead*
  • opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D